Striving for Perfection, Again

I have a tendency to go through phases in my life when I think everything is a wreck. Just a complete disaster. Or, at the very least, a little off balance. It's these times when I frequently refer to myself as a hot mess or the hottest mess.

The truth is these are the periods of time when, more likely, I actually have it the most pulled together. Earlier this week, I entered wave one of hot mess mode. I know I'm in phase one when I start seeking out self-discovery books and resources to get more organized, get more done and just be a better person all the way around. I start thinking about new ways to be able to double my workout schedule, because six or seven times a week just doesn't seem like enough. I start trying to figure out how I can eat less of everything and more of the rest of everything. I want to feel better, look better, be better.

Basically, I'm looking for ways to be perfect. Unrealistically perfect, in fact.

Last weekend, I grabbed my copy of "The Secret" from the bookshelf. It's a book I've never read completely, and it's a book I'll probably never read completely. But I often gravitate toward it, because it was marketed as one of the most comprehensive resources for getting everything you want. I don't know if that includes absolute and complete perfection, though I'm sure it's just a vision board away.

All I need to do is clip out a few pictures from a magazine, glue them on some poster board, and I'll be on my way to living my perfect life. The one I made happen with my craft glue and crude cutouts from Men's Health and Details. One where I'm surrounded by wealth, happiness and a body built by 16 trips or 32 hours a week working on my physique. One where I only eat broccoli and the best protein a vegetarian can find. One where I don't spend money on things I don't need and I don't waste time doing things that impede on my being perfect.

What I really need to do, instead of strive for this perfect state of being, is just make a realistic plan to push myself a little harder ... in just one area. Not look for overall perfection, just better than before. Of course, that's not how I work. But by the time phase two rolls around sometime next Wednesday or Thursday, I'll have enough confidence in myself to just try to work on a few small changes. Or nothing at all.

I'm so predictable like that.