Questioning security questions

Today has been spent updating the bazillions of online login and password pairings for my credit cards, e-mail accounts and all such nonsense. It's something I started when moving, but I just wanted to make sure everything was in order and properly updated.

Through the process, I've learned it's apparently not OK to be single. Or unmarried. At least not in the eyes of Yahoo! In a forced update of security questions for the e-mail account I've had for more than a decade, I struggled to find two questions I could answer in case I need to retrieve my password.

The first two questions were:

1. Where did you spend your honeymoon?
2. Where did you meet your spouse?

Um, I need more options. Not having a spouse means I haven't had a honeymoon. These questions go a little too hand-in-hand for me — and a good percentage of other Yahoo! account holders, I imagine.

As my eyes scrolled down the list of about a dozen questions, there were a couple of usual suspects:

1. What was the name of your first pet?
2. What is your favorite teacher's last name?

But I also noticed most of the other questions wouldn't apply to that same group of Yahoo! users who had not been married or on a honeymoon.

1. What is the last name of your best man at your wedding?

And ... wait for it ...

2. What is the last name of your maid of honor at your wedding?

Seriously? Among the many problems I have with these questions, especially the "best man" question, is this — it's not that secure ... at all. For example, I was the best man in my brother's wedding. Hmmm, I wonder what his best man's last name would be?

Some of the other ridiculous questions that were choices included:

1. What street did you live on in third grade?
2. What street did you live on in sixth grade?

This, folks, is online security at its finest.